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Mars...

Even though, um, that definitely happened... I guess... Is it dumb for me to insist that that doesn't change anything? I thought it was a dream.

And I like you, a lot. All of that's true.

[opens mouth]

[closes it again]

[looks. a bit. like he isn't sure what to say. . . next??]

I--

[uuuuh]

-- I mean, yeah. I guess it doesn't. [. . .] I care about you. . . a lot, too.

[she opens her mouth, then closes it, and leans back against a wall.]

Yeah. It's suuuuuper confusing, huh? I dunno what to say next...

[reaches for her hand again, tugging against it tightly and pulling her towards him rather suddenly]

[???????]

[?! she blinks, and lets herself be tugged.]

-- Oh!

[she forgot. Buddy bond. That's a thing, right?]

Words are hard.

Words are-- stupid.

[WAS SHE EXPECTING A BUDDY BOND???]

[CUZ SHE'S GETTING A KISS INSTEAD]

[SHE WAS?

so this is even more unexpected. and it shows in her confused reaction for a moment, before she reaches up and brushes his hair aside, pulling him in closely]

[much better than a buddy bond]

[. . . although a few seconds later, he activates the link. and she'll be able to feel that hesitant fondness, those soft feelings tinged by a bit of uncertainty, of wondering if this is okay even though he is basically shoving aside any worries to go for what he wants. he's been doing that a lot lately]

[maybe he's turned over a new leaf???]

[. . .]

[ANYWAY: KISSING CONTINUES. but it's chaste and gentle]

[there's a small sense of amusement when she realizes what's happened. but her feelings are residuals of being surprised that they're kissing now, but also joy that they are.

words are hard, so it's easier to just radiate love at him. especially since that doesn't violate their bet.

and brief understanding that, well, it's confusing to know what to do at right this moment.

so she pulls him closer, moving his hand down to her side.]

[. . . well. love is a powerful emotion, and he responds to that with a lot of fluster, with a brief hitch in the kiss to cough awkwardly. but then she's pulling him closer, and the fluster is melted by a surge of warmth, a surge of this feels right, and. . . well]

[his fingers curl against her side, lightly clutching at the fabric of her shirt]

[love is a strong emotion, but also, it's definitely an emotion she feels towards him no matter what-- and she opens her eyes to stare at him, a smile curling against his lips. there's a slight feeling of playful exasperation. a familiarity that breeds from all these shared experiences and genuine affection.

but her fingers curl lightly, and then slide behind his neck, hooking her arms together to press against him.

and she's forgotten that brief moment of familiar exasperation. returning the feeling of rightness.]

[oh my god]

[MORE FLUSTER especially as she smiles at him like that, his cheeks blossoming a very brilliant shade of red. it's followed by a prickle of gratefulness, of happiness, of warm contentedness that washes over them both--]

[he continues the kiss, pressing close to her when she does the same, before he suddenly pulls back]

[and now he feels a bit guilty]

Wait, North--

[aaaaah]

I can't. . . I can't promise anything other than-- [this, really]

[she's a little surprised when he pulls back, and then confused by the guilt. But the confusion quickly changes into understanding. Oh yes, this is definitely something they've talked about. But she does pull back a little bit more to fully appraise him.]

Hey, don't worry about it?

Honestly... it still feels a little... [weird?]

To me too, you know?

[he doesn't seem to want her to go too far, because he drops his hands to reach for hers, tangling their fingers together]

[his shoulders slump. and there's. . . relief? on his end of the bond]

Joker 'n Fox 'n Prim do it so easily. . .

[another pause]

I don't really get it. I don't-- I don't mind it, but it's also kind of. . .

[. . .]

I don't really fully get it.

[even if he is dating both Lily and Joker officially now, he still isn't sure he gets it]

Is that why you're so worried?

[she looks at their hands, and then back up his face, searching. there's a tangle of curiosity and reassurance.]

That you might be saying you're more okay with... well... All of the romance stuff than you actually are...?

I--

[gives her a sort of. . . perplexed look]

Yes. No? I don't know?

[he wishes he had an actual answer for her, but he just looks a little helpless instead]

Hehe. Well, That doesn’t seem very asshole-ish of you. To admit that you’re not sure. Because I’m not either.

Prim’s really encouraging but... I guess part of me wonders how they always keep that desire to be someone’s most important person in check. And maybe I should be the one feeling that more...

I don’t know. It’s weird. To think about giving so much of yourself to so many different people.

[for a moment, he looks honestly surprised that she manages to put it into words so well, and in such a way that really resonates with him]

I-- . . . yeah. It's. . . like that. Exactly like that.

[a pause]

How do they keep the desire to have someone be theirs and only theirs at bay, too. . .? It's-- [mmmm]

[. . .]

I don't know.

[she squeezes his hand, and there’s reassurance, and maybe a little amusement, though that does get followed by a touch of melancholy as she finishes her thought.]

I don’t know. It’s like... I guess... a skill we never learned.

But... it has to hurt, in a place where we’re often actually asked to prioritize who we want to save...

[a pause]

It’s not fair.

[. . . thunks his head against her shoulder]

Yeah. But that's unfair no matter what the status of your relationship with someone. Dating, fucking, friends, family, enemies-- it doesn't matter.

It's stupid all around.

Mm...

Hey Mars... can I ask you a question...?

[she reaches up to stroke his hair softly]

[doesn't lift his head and instead responds in a mutter]

. . . yeah?

... Are you worried that we'll always pick Joker over you...?

What? I--

[. . .]

. . . no. That's not a great way to say it. I'm not worried you guys will pick Joker over me.

[. . .]

But he is "yours." And I'm-- [. . .]

I'm not.

Mm. You're right, that wasn't a great way to say it.

But...

I don't know. I feel like you're as much mine as he is. If that even makes sense?

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